“Training A Child in The Way He Should Go”
By Cookie Schwaeber-Issan
While this charge given to parents from Proverbs 22:6 is well-known, it’s not always well understood from a practical and daily aspect as to how to go about “training up a child in the way he should go.”
There are many interesting parallels that can be drawn from tending a garden as applied to godly child-rearing. Each day, a garden needs to be watered in order to properly develop and flourish. Water is its basic source of sustenance, so to what can water be compared?
If it’s a daily need, would it be the equivalent of a once-a week trip to the local congregation? Or would it be the equivalent of a weekly youth group meeting, even one that includes praise and worship along with an inspiring message?
While all those things are helpful, I maintain that they are more along the lines of “fertilizer” which enrich but do not provide the daily sustenance needed by a young, tender plant – in this case, your child.
As a believing parent, along with my husband, it was our central thinking to establish a daily family devotional time where we, as a family, would read the word together and pray just as I experienced during my own childhood. It seemed to set the tone of the house, and, in time, it became a natural development which my own child has now instituted for his family, already extending to the third-generation.
There are parents who may feel that sending their child to a believing school is another source of daily sustenance that will yield the kind of fruit they hope to see as their child matures, but this, too, should only be viewed as “enrichment” and not the main source of a child’s daily training.
Probably the most significant training starts with the personal example that the child views from the moment he or she wakes up until the time they go to sleep. If a child sees a calm and focused parent who places all their trust in the Lord, who speaks forth that message and who walks that sure path, that child will also come to understand that they, too, can be grounded and rooted in the knowledge and assurance that God is totally in control of even the most challenging of circumstances. If a child catches a glimpse of a parent in prayer or a parent who sits and reads God’s word daily, that, too, will have an immense impact upon the child who will come to understand that this is a central priority of the parent. That visual will also be an unforgettable component of the child’s spiritual training.
Conversely, if a child is exposed to a parent who is easily rattled and irritated, one who raises their voice, chronically complains, responds harshly or impatiently, the water source that is being doled out to that child on a daily basis will be polluted even before it ever has a chance to hit the soil.
A parent is the loudest and most forceful example to which a child is exposed. What comes out of their mouth, along with their actions and behavioral patterns, are considered, for better or worse, the “training” that the child is receiving on a regular basis.
In both cases, there is a consequence, and it is often the child repeating that same behavior they see day in and day out from their parent. Perhaps that is why the saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” is so true.
The Word says that we are “epistles read by men,” but we should also consider that we are “epistles read by our children,” and we must be extremely alert and aware of that fact at all times.
Remember that training is a matter of practice and repetition. The more times your child sees you overcome with courage and confidence in the Lord – along with calm assurance, the more that kind of training will wear off on your child and shape their character.
Start training with purified water – the kind that comes from a personally consistent and developed daily walk with the Lord, and that will surely impact the spiritual growth and development of your tender plant – the most precious gift that God has bestowed upon you – your child.
This post is also available in: Hebrew